More Than a List

It’s Sunday evening and instead of doing something positive, like making a to-do list for the week or, I don’t know, finishing my laundry… I find myself reading one of those articles that most single women my age often see on our social news feed: “Beauty Trends That Men Hate.”

As I scan through this article, I see that it’s not much different from any of the other articles of this sort… look natural — don’t apply too much makeup, but please don’t wear no makeup (I wonder if these men realize how long it takes a girl to look “natural”); don’t wear makeup to the gym (sure, when I leave my eight to five job, I’ll use makeup remover in the bathroom before heading to the gym… I’ve got time on my hands, you know); avoid those bright lipsticks, ladies… the gents can only imagine leaving the club with a “clown face” when they see bright shades on your lips!

For the umpteenth time, I thought “screw these stupid lists of what men want” — yet I always notice these posts and I always click on them! Logic tells me that I’m not the only one; websites, blogs, and magazines wouldn’t continue publishing these articles if it didn’t get a lot of traction and clicks.

I always wonder why it is that we think we should impress others with our appearance. We “dress to impress”, choosing outfits and makeup looks based on the cities we visit, the people we hang out with, and the people we will meet today. I don’t refer to dress codes at restaurants or at work. I refer to those four words that we utter way too often: “Do I look okay?”

Before I share my theory, I should confess that I do not always practice what I preach; I try very hard, but am not always successful at following my own advice.

We should be dressing to impress OURSELVES!

If a certain outfit or makeup look makes you feel good and comfortable, you should wear it. If you don’t have time to remove makeup before going to the gym (P.S. healthy habit for your skin), then don’t. Want to wear heels even though you’re ridiculously tall? Do it! We should be choosing the makeup and the fashion that we like! I believe that at the heart of the fashion and beauty world is the purpose of boosting the confidence of women, not causing us to feel insecure.

If someone else has something to say about your appearance — screw them! You dressed for you, not for them! It is when we dress for others that we start asking “Do I look okay?” and feeling uncomfortable with ourselves.

Which brings me to a second point. A person (be that someone you’re interested in romantically, a friend, or a stranger in a bar) who denies you their heart, friendship, or loyalty based on your appearance is someone who shouldn’t be a part of your life.

Why? Because you are more than your exterior. You have your own voice, your own unique personality. This means that you cannot be defined by your appearance only. You have interests, a profession, your own music taste, a sense of humor, a code of beliefs and values. You have more to offer a person than the exterior. Someone who cannot recognize that is foolish.

So, for my own sake and the sake of all my friends, I have two requests:

  1. Stop giving women these silly lists and requirements of what we should look like and how we should behave if we don’t want to grow old with only a litter of kittens to love (by the way, there is nothing wrong with that image)
  2. Fellow women, stop paying attention to these articles!

The reason is rather simple… women are more than a ridiculous list compiled by people who do not deserve to be with us. We cannot be limited or defined by a silly list!

2 thoughts on “More Than a List”

  1. Well done Elmari! I’m one of those ridiculously tall people that insist of wearing heels as u know;)

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